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San Francisco, Ca, United States
I'm on the left, Andrew is in the middle and my partner Ed is on the right. My partner and I met in October 1993 and have been together ever since. Our son Andrew graced us with his presence on Christmas Eve 2007.

Andrew Meets his Birth-Mother April 16, 2008

As promised, I sent Jennifer (birth-mother) pictures each month of Andrew. I've called her numerous times but she never responded. Finally one day I received a phone call. It was Jennifer. She called to thank me for the pictures and said he has really grown. I said, "I'm so happy that you called us." I asked if she would like to meet Andrew she said yes. We set up a time to pick her up for Saturday April 16th 2008 at 12 noon.

It's Saturday and Ed and I are getting Andrew ready to meet Andrew's birth-mother. We were excited. Excited because I am able to record this moment with pictures so that Andrew can always go back to this moment and also because it's potentially the beginning of building a healthy relationship with her and Andrew.

We drove up to her place. She was staying in an old buiding where she said she worked. It was a motel and she operated the elevators and helped people check in. They did not pay her but allowed her to stay in one of the rooms. Jennifer was standing there with a friend of hers. Jennifer was skinny and had long dirty blond curly hair. We got out of the car and hugged her, she introduced us to her friend (a woman probably in her late 40s). Jennifer wanted to show her friend Andrew. Since Andrew was in the car seat, we opened the back door so her friend could take a peak. Her friend said, "wow Jennifer, he is soo cute". We left for lunch.
Jennifer sat in the back with Andrew looking at him so endearingly. I tried to keep the communication going by asking her questions about how she is. I had mentioned to her that she lost the weight so quickly and she said one of her biggest issues is gaining weight. She was happy to be thin again. I was observing her behavior and she was very fidgety, not being able to sit still. We arrived at the restaurant. We learned so much about Jennifer. She had taught herself Spanish and was able to speak fluently. She was in the process of learning Tagalog (my partner is filipino). She said a couple of sentences in Tagalog. I was really impressed with that. We talked about Andrew's birth father. His birth-father is mexican and she did not know him very well. He was about 5'7" and was chubby. That was all she said to us. We could not get any more information from her.
After lunch I told Jennifer I wanted to take some pictures of her and Andrew. We walked around town and took some pictures. Jennifer mentioned that she should go back and we packed back in the car to drop her off. We joked around and communication seemed to be a bit easier. We pulled up in front of the motel and got out to give her a hug. I have her some money to help her through this rough patch. She thanked us. She said "keep in touch".

We definately will. It's important for Ed and I to make sure Andrew knows how much his mother loves him. I feel confident that we will go on many more lunches and enjoy many gatherings together.

7 comments:

Kudo said...

Congratulations Andrew is a very special little guy. I am so glad he was able to find you both.

One of Andrew's Daddies said...

Thanks for your comment Kudo. We feel so lucky to have him in our family and to be able to take him home on Christmas day was just one of the best days ever.

Juan said...

Paul & Ed,
Your story is very touching--what a Christmas that must have been. I am really impressed by your willingness to reach out to Andrew's birth mother. For many adoptive parents that is a very scary thing to do. Some people don't understand that just because the birth parents aren't in a child's daily life, it doesn't diminish their importance to an adopted child. This selfless act alone of bringing them together shows what good parents you both must be. Congratulations.
Juan (aka Daddy Dairies & Meet the Fosters)

Thanksgivingmom said...

Oh am I just loving you guys - I too am touched by the story of your first meeting. Congratulations on your beautiful little boy!!!

Andrew's Daddies said...

ThanksgivingMom,
Thanks for your post. Andrew is the joy in our lives. We fell truly blessed.
By the way, Why ThanksgivingMom as a name...?

4LittleDudes said...

Hey, I just found your blog from other couple's blog.
I just love your adoration for your bithmom. You guys are AMAZING <3

4LittleDudes said...

WELL..not YOUR bith-mom (I'm sure you like her too) I mean Andrew's BM..
Duh! hehe

 

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